


A Kiss On Stage Does Not Matter

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: AU, Drama, Drama AU, F/F, Gen, I will keep adding characters and tags as the story goes, M/M, No SGrub Session, Secondary rosemary, no sburb session, rosemary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-05
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-06-06 14:00:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6757039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>-Kissing on stage has no meaning</p>
<p>Oh poor little thing. When he said that, little did he know that his drama teacher shipped him wih Dave and even smaller did he know that his drama teacher would do anything to make his ship sail.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Homestuck headcanon: all knights are incredibly good actors and depending on their aspect they are beter at one thing or an other like..  
> Time Players are incredibly good at keeping up a rythm so that they know EXACTLY when to make a perfect pause and make their characters seem deeper and add meaning to their words.  
> Blood Players somehow always get scenes involving multiple people to work out perfectly.  
> Void Players can easily switch from one kind of character to an toher in no time and so on with other aspects.

Being in the Drama club was awesome; they mainly did weird shit, moved around, said random things with various tones and emotions or impovised.

Improvisation was the best: everyone was given a trait and then scenes came to life and it was so crazy and powerful.

There was this one time when a girl was "crazy" and Karkat was "bipolar" and it was up to him to approach her.  
She was curled on herself on the floor, rocking back and fourth and singing to herself. He walked up to her and started talking; saying pretty much anything that came to mind, going from one emotion to the other in no time and letting his body move by itself

He found himself on the floor, she had kept doing what she had started with, then he got a bit close and it happened: she jumped at him screaming and pinned him to the ground.  
Karkat himself was surprised at the speed at which he had run away from her and on the side of the scene.

There was a moment of silence.

It ended immediately after when everybody was laughing their asses off.

It was simply perfect, but those days were now over.

 

All the actors sat in a circle on the floor while Jack sat on a stool, the sky was clear and some warm light came from the big windows, chasing away the shadows and jumping off the mirror at the end of the room.

There would be no improvising that day, no making feelings grow, no silly games, no walking around in weid ways.

Not today.  
Not for a while, probably.

It was time to choose what play they were going to put up.

 

-I am absoluely not doing romance

 

Said Sarah.

Sarah was a nice looking girl, she had the blondest hair, blue eyes, round face and full lips, she was so small.  
Yes, small, like small shoulders, small chest, small hips, small legs.

Sarah was small and looked innocent, therefore childish characters were her territory, she would rip you to pieces and eat your soul if you tried to get a cute or childish character.

That one character was hers.

 

-Wait, why not?

Asked Jack. As a teacher he had to understand why something made his actors uncomfortable and why they won't do a genre or the other.

-Well, it will most likely involve kissing! I don't really feel confortale enough for that.

 

The other girls were mostly agreeing with Sarah, either saying they didn't want to waste their first kiss like that or that they had boyfriends and such.

 

-I don't get it.

-Of course not, Karkat, you're a boy.

-Oh please, I'm much more romantic than you, and you know it. I'm just saying that we're actors, so why woud a kiss matter, if we do our job right it wouldn't be much different from holding hands or fuckery like that.

-But it's not holding hands, it's kissing! I thought that someone like you would know how important kissing is!

 

Said Cersei.

Cersei was a thick black girl, she had beutiful pink hair which looked like cotton candy and it suited her personality perfectly: she was sweet and funny, seemed a bit weird, but she always spoke her mind and was such a powerful actress, just... WOW was the only correct way to describe her job.

 

-I gotta side with KK on this one, ladies.

 

Dave. 

The kid was and albino, had white hair always perfectly styled, skin as pale as paper, was tall and incredibly hot.

He knew he was hot, no doubt, at least he didn't brag about it.

He was an incredibly good actor, the best of the group, he knew that too.

Him and Karkat had a weird relationshhip which consisted into sassying and tryna one up each other.

 

-Like really, if we don't try something new when will we ever learn? Sooner or later we're gonna have play a character that smooches an other character, why not get used to it?

 

He continued.

 

-So you would be cool with kissing someone on stage?

 

Inquired Jack.

 

-I'm always cool.

-Then I wanna do a romantic play!

 

Said Max.

Fuck did Karkat hate Max. 

She took ballet lessions in this same school, she had been dancing for so long and got used to reciving the best parts because of "experience". When she got into Drama she thought things would work in the same way and got pissed at Cersei when she came along and got a better part than her at her second year.

She never really explored the characters given to her, she learned the lines just before it was too late, always showing up late and beig just so annoying.

She'd been acting for three years, then came Dave and she decided to start drooling all over him. 

Gross.

Jack hated her guts just as much as Karkat did.

 

-Oh no, darling, I've heard you say that you don't want to waste your first kiss like two seconds ago, don't worry, it won't happen.  
Karkat, I will never believe that you are not talking shit. Show me that you really mean what you just said.

-.......You want me to kiss you? You're like five times my age, isn't that kinda illegal

-Oh yes, smooch me that's just what I want.  
No but really, I am not that old, you are fucking rude

-How am I supposed to show you that I'm not talking shit?

-Dave's gotta show me too, so...

Now that someone had mentioned his name Dave had to say something, so the exchange between Jack and Karkat was now interrupted.

-Nah, Karkat's talking shit for sure, he is probably preserving his first kiss so that he can get one under the rain while fucking Celine Dion sings in the distance and he can run towards his partner from like a twenty mile distance so that he can enjoy the mome

As Dave had started his probably long monolouge Karkat had rolled his eyes and proceeded to get up from his spot on the floor, walk across the circle grab the boy's face and kiss him.

Just a pressing of lips on lips, just for a brief moment and then he was out and getting back in his place.

Dave was left with a mandible falling to the grond. He was not expecting the midget to do that.

They discussed a little longer and finally got to the conclusion that yes, they were going to do something which had to do with romance.  
Yes, Dave and Karkat were going to be the leads.  
Max, they will be the leads because they are incredibly good.  
No, Max you are not better than D- For fuck's sake, Max, he's been acting for ten years!

Yes, they will be the leads.  
Because I'm planning on making it gay, that's why!

Well, same sex marriage is finaly legal, why not celebrate it with a gay play? Wait fuck that sounded bad, don't tell your parents I said that.

-Ok, our time has come; everybody go home and look for possible plays, have a good week!

 

Everybody left the room felling quite happy, even Max.  
Yes, the leads were given away, but they had a certain freedom and the idea of doing something new and particular sure as hell got them exited.  
Almost none of them cared about what role they got, as long as it was interesting and fun they were going to enjoy it.

everybody got out of the building and to their bus stops or homes and such while walking together and chatting.

Karkat walked to the coffee machine and got two glasses of brown water they insisted in calling caffee, the second glass was poured just as Dave walked in the room.

 

-Why thank you, darling

-Who said it was for you?

-I did

 

The albino grabbed the cup from the Indian.

 

-Rude

-So you actually did it! if one year ago someone had told me that Karkat Vantas would waste his first kiss out of pride I would have said "Who the fuck is Karkab Vans?" Then that one person would have explained to me that it is a hopless romantic obsessed with romcoms and I would have said that this Karkat is a weirdo.

-First off I did not waste my first kiss, as I said in class, there was no passion or any other feeling making that one kiss equivalent to touching your hand, which is still gross, don't get me wrong but not deserving the title of "kiss" and don't even get me started on "First"

-What do you mean

-Even if that had been a kiss it would have not been the first one, you asshole!

-No shit. I do not believe you, Karkat, I will never believe you. Who was it?

-So much for not believing me.

-I call your bullshit.

-It is not bullshit.

-Bullshit. Names or it didn't happen

-Well, you see, it was

 

Here Karkat took a long sip of "coffee" all the whille making noise as if he was actually saying some name.  
The cup was now empty, he threw it away and kept talking

 

-Oh look at the time! I'll end up missing my bus!

-You litterally walk home everytime!

-Not this time! 

 

And out he was with a wink.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are you messing up your lines just cause you wanna kiss me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back.  
> Who might not be back for a while
> 
> So hell week is the incoming one for me, therefore I'll have like- a test a day so I'll have to study like mad so idk if I'll get to post more, I'll try my best, but for the moment please have this chapter.

\- Ok so it was all cool and shit and then he fucking up and said it was not his first kiss!  
-Gasp. It was not? How dare he?  
-At least he SAYS it wasn't...  
-Why are you telling me this?  
-Because I am curious.  
-So?  
-Help me! Find out who was his first!  
-How am I supposed to do it? I barely even know him. Besides, how come you are so interested?  
-I just am. Come on, I bet Kanaya knows!  
-Fine. I will help you but you owe me one.  
-No I don't! You're my cousin, you have to help me

 

Dave was fast to take back his words for Rose was giving him one eloquent look. 

 

-Ok, fine. What do you want.  
-I'll tell you at the rightful time. 

Dave had decided to ask Rose Lalonde, his cousin, for help.

Rose was biratial, yet no-one would have ever thought that: she had the whitest skin and blondest hair, she was not an albino, she was just pale.  
She had a small round nose, big eyes that almost looked lilac and a thin upperlip.  
Rose had a round face and was short: the top of her head reached Dave's chest.  
She had round hips and a medium chest; she rocked everything that she wore always completing it with eyeliner that could cut a bitch, black lipstick and a malicious look.

Rose Lalonde had quite a few interests: she used to play the violin when she was younger, she knitted, she liked studying psychology and many more, most of them came and left, Dave tryed to get her into acting, but it just wasn't for her.

She would rather write.

Writing was the one interest that she always kept; she would create a Character as she played her instrument, imagine their backstory as she made a scarf, tryed to guess how they would react to different situations through psychology and she would always write.

The reason why the Strider asked the Lalonde for help was because Rose was also very lesbian and in a stable relationship with a certain Kanaya Maryam also known as Karkat Vantas' best friend.

Kanaya must know.

Rose always asked for something in exchange of anything therefore Dave would have rather not have asked her, but she also always delivered.

Well... almast always, apparently.

There Dave was, a month later, script in hand, Karkat in front of him, saying his line perfectly knowing it by heart, and Dave did not know who his first kiss was. 

Unacceptable.

-But it can't be you!  
-Why not?  
-Because you're a... you're  
-A boy?

Pause

-Yes.  
-And does that matter?  
-Of course it does! We can't be together, I can't like you! You're a boy!  
-Would you want to kiss me?

Pause

-Would you like to kiss me?  
-I would  
-Do it then  
-I can't!

 

At this point, Dave cups Karkat's face, leans in and his lips touch Karkat's for about two seconds.

 

-There. Was it that hard?  
-I... I forgot my line  
-Oh my God, Karkat, can you take this seriously? Like try and put some effort in it!

 

Said Dave while fanning himself with his script.  
Karkat took it from his hands just to check that one line after the kiss. He knew it all, he just had a slip up. It happens.

 

-Ok, re do it from the kiss. Will ya?

 

The actors got back in their positions and the characters were back in the blink of an eye.

 

-I can't

 

Dave lowered himself and repeated the earlyer touch.

 

-There. Was it that hard?  
-You shouldn't have done that.  
-Well... wait, where are we now on this?  
-Seriously Dave? Not even with the script right in front of you?  
-Sorry, that kiss was just so good and it distracted me  
-Fuck off.  
-Back from the kiss scene. Don't make me waste my time, kids

-I can't

 

Dave leaned down, this kiss was a bit more passionate but was still just a touch. How did it even work?

 

\--Therewasitthathard?  
-Dave, talk clearly, don't run. I didn't catch a word that you said. Again.  
-Are you doing this on purpose?  
-No I'm not! I'd never!

-I can't

 

He leaned down, his lips touched the other's and he was back up.

-There. Was it that hard?  
-You shouldn't have done that.  
-Why not? I wanted to.  
-But I did not. You are a boy. I don't like boys.  
-You can keep telling yourself that, but we both know it's a lie. Why should my gender interfere with your feelings? That is just ridiculous, just follow your heart.  
-I can't!

 

Karkat's character, Adam, pushes Dave's Steve off him and backs off, his tone gets sadder and more desperate and angry in the next line.

 

-You know I can't!  
-Why do you keep telling yourself that?  
-Because it's not right. It can't be right and if I do it I am not right. I've been wrong so many times. Why can't you just let me be right for once.  
-You'd never be happy that way  
-I'd be normal.  
-Is that what you really want?  
-Yes. It is. Just leave me be. Leave me be normal for once.  
-You already are normal. If... if what you want is for me to be out of your life... I'll do as you wish. Just... just know that I'll always love you.

 

Steve walks out of the scene, Dave goes back to the other actors, leans on a wall, but stays on his feet.  
There's a moment of silence before Adam says:

 

-You shouldn't. I. Shouldn't.

 

Adam walks out too and Karkat sits on the floor, back against the wall and knees pulled close to him.  
Adam really gets to him and while he really likes playing him, scenes such as this leave him with an uneasy feeling.

The actresses for the next scene are in their places, one's reading from her script, one's going without but keeps it in hand just to make sure, one could just as well be her character without an actress.

 

-You alright?  
-Yes. I'm fine.  
-You don't really seem Fine to me. Well, yes. You are fine, but not emotionally. What's up?  
-The ceiling.  
-I will literally punch you.  
-No you won't.  
-I won't if you tell me what's wrong. Come on man, we're bros we can tell each other stuff I can't just look at you be all sad and shit and do nothing!  
-We're not "Bros" besides I'm fine. Just a bit tired.  
-Yeah sure.  
-Boys, will you be quiet.  
-Sorry, Jack. Will be.

 

The rest of reharsal went smoothly. So smoothly that they couldn get more that three more scenes done.  
So smooth.


	3. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who got one day without a test and instead of studying for the next ones wrote shitty fanfics?
> 
> Anyways, guys I want you to be brutal on this one cause I deally don't know how to feel about it.
> 
> thanks!

An other week, an other day of reharsal, one more time in which, after the kiss scene Karkat was left on the side of the room looking miserable.

 

-So you're ok  
-Defenitely... Why are you even asking?  
-Dunno man, maybe I just can't stand watching you be so sad and not knowing why?  
-I'm not sad.  
-Yeah ok, sure, and my hair is black  
-Strider, will you shut up? I'm trying to pay attention to the scene

 

Ok. Fine. If Karkat didn't want to tell him what was up, he would have to dig.  
Like Rose should dig and find out who got his first kiss.  
Ok the kissing thing was secondary.

After reharsal Dave waited for the other just outside the room 

 

-Coffee?  
-Nope.

 

Karkat looked confused. They usually always had coffee right after reharsal if they wanted to talk, otherwise they'd just walk out, so why the hell would he wait for him but not want that brown tasteless water they insisted in calling coffee? 

 

-Wanna get ice cream?  
-Ice cream..?  
-Ice cream.

 

Said Dave while pronouncing something around ten Es and As and almost four Ms

 

-....Yeah ok.  
-Sweet.

 

Why hello there, all evening that he's gonna loose to hang with him instead of just having a quick "coffee".

Karkat grabbed his messanger bag and put it over his shoulder, then put his hands in his front task.  
See, Karkat was wearing this one big hoodie in which an other person could fit, it had a pocket big enough that he could've probably left the bag at home.  
Well, maybe it wasn't that big, but still.  
and the writing. The words on that shirt.

"FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING FUCK" 

Karka must've bought a grey hoodie and then printed that down on it in white.

Under the hoodie he was wearing black tight-looking jeans and ratty sneakers.  
He looked good.

They had to walk for less than five minutes to get to the shop; they had to wait much longer before the both of them could come to a decision about what they wanted:  
strawberry and popcorn for Karkat, smurf and mintychocolate for Dave.  
after getting their cones they walked out planning on eating while walking but as soon as Dave's foot touched the grond outside of the shop he gave his first lick, right between the two flavours.  
His expression screamed "Why", his tastebuds were crying.

It was not as good as he hoped it would. He was so dumb.

Karkat rose his eyebrows and gave a good lick to that delicious popcorn.  
Dave was going to be jealous.

 

-What does the smurf even taste like?  
-I have no idea. It's blue... probably chemical products?  
-Wait. Are you for real? I thought it's colour came from some fruit or something. Are you telling me that's not natural?  
-Hate to break it to you, buddy... Actually... it really does taste like I thought a Smurf would.  
-Why did you ever thing of eating a Smurf?!  
-Who talked about eating?

 

It took Karkat a moment, but when he got it he looked quite disgusted while blushing.

 

-You are gross  
-Oh Great Smurf, you taste so good!  
-Wait... The old guy? I thought you'd talk about like.. the only girl in that show.  
-Okay, first of all, there was more that one girl in there, everyone liked Smurfette better because she was blonde, Sassette was much better. Secondly, yeah but like Smurf D sounds much better that pre-teen Smurf V, ya feel me?  
-Yeah, like you'd actually suck his Dick  
-Why wouldn't?  
-Because you're a... you're

 

Karkat had never thought that Dave could not be straight. He knew that the only more obvious way for Dave to show that would be for him to walk around with Lightbulbs arranged to spell "Not Straight" over his head, but try and understand Karkat's position, all Dave did to try and make him understand was constantly flirt with him!

 

-A boy?

 

While Karkat could be quite oblivious some times, he somehow managed to get this one thing, so he went along with it.

 

-Yes.  
-And doest that matter?

 

They were saying it in such an exagerate way that they almost made each other bend in two laughing.

 

-Of course it does! We can't be together, I can0t like you! You're a boy!

 

There Dave lost all of his exageration, which, obviously, Karkat did not notice.

 

-Woud you want to kiss me?  
-Oh I so would.

 

Dave wrapped is arm over the other's back, pulled him closer and started tilting his head, getting closer to the lips, his eyes almost closed, lips almost touching the other's, when, all of a sudden he felt the hand holding his cone being moved and all of a sudden he had his mouth full of blue, and his nose too.  
Karkat backed off.

 

-You should tell the old man not to blow a load in your face, if you really dont like it.

 

In that moment, Dave Elisabeth Strider changed his life philosophy; it became: Fuck Karkat Vantas.  
He whiped off off his face some ice cream and threw it at Karkat

 

-Fuck! Oh awesome, you fucking ruined my hoodie, you nookstain!  
-"Nookstain"? Dude, some times you sound like some kind of weird alien, maybe one wih grey skin and tiny ass horns, you'd be so ad

 

More ice cream reached dave's neck and shirt. Strawberry was now on his awesome black T-Shirt and not just anywhere, Karkat had managed to center the white tie printed on it.

It was War.

Dave gave a good lick to the mintychocolate, it was all he could give it. Some form of good-bye. His last kiss to it, before he threw the whole cone at the shorter boy.  
Karkat tried to duck, he really did. How did it end up like this.

 

-It was only a kiss, how did it end up like this? I t was only a kiss. It was only a kiss.

 

The fight was now over and the teens were sitting on the side walk just talking and freezing and breathing hard.

 

-fuck off Dave, you could've just not thrown your ice cream at me and we would have been able to eat it.  
-My foult? You started it!  
-Who fucking cares?! Oh my god I'll be all sticky and gross 'till I get home!  
-What's the matter? It's just a fifteen minutes walk?  
-Not today, asshole. I'm going to a friend's.  
-Wait, so you actually have one of those?

 

Karkat punched his arm hard.  
That got a small "ow" out of Dave.

 

-Ok, Ok, fine. Come with me.  
-Where?  
-At my house, obviously.  
-Ah yes Dave, you are such a good listener, this is defenitely the correct behaviour when someone tells you that they already have different plans.  
-Obviously I am, that's why I decided to ignore what you just said so that we can go at mine. I want some of that sweet KK ass. Come on, Karkat just come with me, I swear, I'll deflower you so sweetly and nicely it won't even hurt  
-Please, do not ever say "deflower you" ever again. Wait, what the fuck, Stider, you can't just grab someone and start dragging them around, Where are you even taking me?!  
-At my house, and then I'm he bad listener. WOW such a hippocrate.  
-I already told you I don't want to come to your house, you footfucking shitbagging asspimple.

 

But it was too late. Dave had already decided that he was going to take Karkat to his appartment and he was going to. A fucking metheor could pop right out of nowhere and head straight to his house and he would still not stop him, he'd just get his bro to chop that big ass stupid space-rock in half or something. Maybe use the bunny-bot to blow it up, it did not matter, as long as he could get Karkat in there and do with him what he wanted to.

 

The two reached Dave's home in no time, Dave was still dragging him up he stairs from one hand and Karkt was starting to seriously worry. Dave opened the door, got into his room and sat Karkat on the bed.  
While Karkat was quiely wandering what the actual fuck was going on, the albino got to his wardrobe and took a red shirt of his out, threw it at Karkat and then adressed him to the bathroom.

 

-If the Great smurf's gizz got to the skin you can clean up a little so that you'll stop being sticky, then put that on. it should fit you.  
-You.... Fucking Braindead bulgefairy, couldn't you just tell me what you wanted to do, so that I wouldn't look like a goddamn shitty cretin all the way here?  
-Why welcome my dear friend, no no don't worry, I have plenty of shirts, I can lend you that one. Please, accept it, do not offend me.

 

Karkat groned as he got to the bathroom, took off the sticky hoodie, washed some of the areas where he felt quite gross and put on what Dave gave him.  
It was a little big, so he had to roll up the sleeves a little, but besides hat it fit him well. It wasn't that bad: the sweater was white, with red sleeves and had the print of a record on the chest, fortunately, everything was good with black jeans so it all didn't look half bad.

The Vantas folded his hoodie and put it in his bag, checked the time on his phone and found out that he'd been hanging out with Dave for way too long he screamed at the other that he had to go and found his way to the door.

 

-Waitwaitwait

 

Came Dave's voice as he also came to the door.

 

-Dude. Rude. You don't just walk out of someone's house without saying anything to whom invited you.

 

Karkat was already out, but had stopped and turned to listen to Dave who was now leaning on the doorframe and... did Dave just check him out?  
Well Karkat was not allowed to complain since he'd just done the same: Dave was wearing ripped black jeans, as before, and a simple white tee. How could one look so hot with just that?

 

-Yeah ok, whatever, I'm late, I'll give you the shirt back next time we have reharsal, ok?  
-Yeah sure.  
-See you, you grubrub.

 

Karkat got down the stair and was soon gone, from inside the house came a voice:

 

-Dave?  
-Yeah?  
-Did you just have someone over?  
-He was on a hurry.

 

Dave closed the door.

 

It took Karkat exactly 45 minutes to get to Terezi's, which meant that he was exactly 20 minutes late yet, the first thing Terezi had to say was not about the time, oh no, it was about his clothes:

 

-OMG, Karkat, what are you wearing?  
-Well, this is... um, Dave's  
-You did it? I can't believe this!

 

The ginger got out her phone and recorded a message before the boy could stop her "Holly shit guys, Karkat pailed with the Strider!".  
Less than a second later Karkat's phone buzzed: she had sent that in the group chat, which meant that the message was followed by aproximtely twenty more in no time; to sum up their contents:

Everyone owned Terezi and Nepeta at least fifteen dollars each, they wanted details and proof.

 

GC: H3 JUST C4M3 1N L4T3 4ND 1S W34R1NG 4 SH1RT TH4T H3 S4YS IS D4V3'S  
TA: bull2hiit  
TA: ii want piic2

-Terezi, don't you dare take a pict

 

But it was too late

 

GA: Well That Is Defenitely Not What Karkat Would Usually Wear.  
AG: I c8n't 8elieve that he's gotten d8wn to it 8efore me!!!!!!!!  
CA: me neither  
CA: howw did you evven manage that?  
TC: It WaS a MoThErFuCkInG mIrAcLe  
TC: I tHoUgHt ThAt YoUd NeVeR gEt LaId Bro  
CG: THAT'S JUST MEAN YOU FUCKING DISGRACES  
CG: ALSO I DID *NOT* HAVE SEX WITH DAVE. WE JUST HAD AN ICE CREAM FIGHT SO WE ENDEd UP DIRTY AND SWEATY, HE GOT ME TO HIS HOME AND GAVE ME SOMETHING ELSE TO WEAR, NOTHING LIKE WHAT YOU SHAMEFUL CROTCHSTAINING PUSTULES INSINUATED  
GA: ...  
AG: ........  
CA: ...  
TA: ...  
AC: :33 


	4. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back. Back again!
> 
> time to indulge into this semi-real life based fanfiction again!
> 
> GUYS PLEASE IF ANYTHING IS WRONG WITH THIS, PLEASE LET ME KNOW; BE IT TYPOS, OOC CHARACTERS OR JUST HARD TO UNDERSTAND PASSAGES; PLEASE TELL ME

****

TT: I still do not understand the reason as to why you wish so strongly to know that

TG: i am just curious

TT: And why don't you just ask him yourself?

TG: wheres the fun in that

TT:  And where is the fun in making me ask Kanaya? I am starting to believe there might be some other reason to your question

TG: jesus rose cant you just do a thing without going into hyper analizing mode

TG: i just wanna know a thing about some random guy why do you feel the need to bring out theories about my feelings or sexuality like thats the only thing keeping you alive

TT: Who talked about either of them? I certainly didn't. Dave, are you implying that the reason why you are so into this topic is because of your obvious feelings for this boy?

TG: i never said  anything like hat

TG: you are just making shit up by now

TG: building it up like your names fucking bob the builder

TT: Dave, you are not getting out of this.

TG: fuck

TT: Are you jealous? If he is alright with kissing you now it probably means that he has no other love interest. Why would his first kiss being taken upset you?

TT: Unless you have some kind of virginity or purity fetish.

TT: is that the case, Dave? Please try and explain as best as you can, I'll be taking notes

TG: fuck no im not talking about fetishes with you while you take notes

TG: and i dont have either of those fetishes

TT: Tell me about the ones you have then

TG: fuck no

TG: fuck this

 

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 16:55 --

 

Yeah Dave was just curious, that's why he'd asked Rose. No other reason. Nope.

 

 

-You know you can't escape Rose, right?

-Dirk not you too, please.

-Come on Dave, you've made it pretty obvious that you like him. Just accept it

 

Dave screamed.

 

-Not you too! Brother how could you betray me! Your own twin!

-I am just doing what is right, my prince, unfortunately you are blind to the truth

-Enough talking now! I do not need advice from a kni.... We messed up, Dirk.

-Fuck you're right.

-What kind of kingdom is this where a prince and a knight forget their place?

-This has gone complitely pear shaped, there’s no other way out of this, you’ll have to decapitate me

-What is this, France?

 

The both of them chukled and then Dirk asked:

 

-When did we even start this stupid title thing, anyway?

-I have no idea, it's like we just got them stuck to us and they never left. Why am I the knight anyway? I am the one that popped up first, tecnically I have more claim to the crown than you do.

-Oh please, we both know I would be a better ruler

-So I 'm better at fighting, your words.

-Fuck no, man, I'm better at that too.

 

In no time the brothers were just pushing each other around, not really interested in wrestling or anything, their main goal was to mess up each other's hairdo and push the other off the couch.  
Dirk fell on the floor, his legs still up, but Dave's hair was sticking in all directions. they were a mess, the definition of anarchy tho this boy had just pushed his prince to the ground so it was about right for his hair to be rioting.

Dirk put his arm under his head, looking at the ceiling, the other hand rested on his stomach and his legs were crossed. Dave lay on the sofa, head on the arm rest.

The younger brother was the one who broke the silence once more:

 

-So you like him.

-No I don't

 

The prince interrupted him

 

 

-Dude, just admit it so we can move forward and start scheming. Everyone knows that you like him, even you do, quit denying it!

-But I don't! I mean, he's kinda good looking and he shares a passion with me, that's it

-That's it my ass. My sweet juicy ass. Keep going.

-Just stop talking about your ass, please.

 

Why was he thinking of is brother's ass? Why was his brother making him think of it? The poor, innocent being closed his eyes tight and put an arm over them.

 

 

-Ok so he can also keep up with me and is funny, plus his lips are like really fucking soft which sure as hell helps...

-You like him.

-I do.

 

The other arm reached his face to cover it entirely.

Dirk was smiling and enjoying his victory.

 

-Fuck my life. Fuck my entire existance. Down to each cell and atom.

-How do you fuck an atom?

-I dont't know, you're the smart one, you tell me!

-Ok, I guess I'll do my research

-So, you talked about scheming?

-It was just a manner of speech, I didn't mean it  literally.

-Yes you do. You're Dirk. I bet you already have plans down to fucking  M.

-Down to R, actually. But first I need to know about the dates that already happened.

 

Dirk knew about something here and there, like Karkat now having one of Dave's shirts but he still didn't know everything and it was about time for the brothers to braid each other's hair, eat marshmellows and talk about boys while their nail polish dried.

 

-There were no dates, Dirk.

-What was the ice ceaam thing then? Also tell me everything like from the beginning.

-You litterally already know!

-How would I? You never told me!

-I figured you'd just figure from everyone else?

-I did. But I still wanna hear it from you.

 

Dave groaned.

 

-Ok so, Kanaya's his BFF or something, she heard me while I was complaining about not knowing which drama course to get in and suggested the one in which Karkat was. I decided to  try and there he was. Grumpy and hella good and he'd always have an answer and so I started flirting and he flirted back and that's about it. Every now and then we stop after reharsal to talk while having coffee or, like last time, we had icecream which unfortunately ended up on the floor.  
The thing is that I can't understand if he likes me back or not, like, he's ok with flirting, but every time I try to take it a step further he rejects me, and it is so. Confusing.

-What if he just doesn't know what to do?

-What do you mean?

-Maybe he doesn't see your intentions clearly, or maybe he just never had something serious going on and doesn't know how to behave. I don't think he's the kind of person who just likes to flirt...

-What should I do then?

 

the two fell in a silence so perfect you could almost hear the cells in their brains run as fast as possible, but it was short lived.

 

-First of all you have to find a way to spend more time with him. Hell week is too far away, therefore reharsal is not often enough.

-Ok, how do I do that?

-Do you have his number?

-I have his Chumhandle?

-Good enough. Give me your phone.

-I'm not giving you my phone!

 

But the pone was on the table and Dirk got to it before Dave could and ran into the bathroom locking the door behind himself, the other Strider banged on it and called for his brother, manacing him were he not to give him back what was his.

 

Dirk was soon out, Dave's phone back in its owner's hands.

The albino unlocked it and it immediately presented him with a chat going on:

 

 

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 17:43 --

TG: hey

TG: ok so since i am undeniably shit at memorizing my lines

TG: can you hep me with that

CG: SO YOU SERIOUSLY WANT TO PUT EFFORT IN THIS THING? WOW THAT IS IMPRESSIVE, AND HERE I WAS, THINKING THAT YOU DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK

TG: if that were the case id just leave dont you think

TG: are you gonna help me or what

CG: OK FINE, ITS NOT LIKE I HAVE NYTHING BETTER TO DO WITH MY FUCKING LIFE. WE'LL MEET MONDAY AFTER SCHOOL.

TG: sweet

 

 

And there it ended.

 

-Dirk, you fuck, I'm buisy on monday, you know that!

-Too late, you got a date.


	5. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody!  
> So I had to write this chapter on my phone so BE CAREFUL WHILE READING.
> 
> I reread this like 20 times, but as you may know, when you do that you end up not seing typos and stuf like that anymore, so please point them out if you find any.
> 
> Also, if you find the characters OOC please let me know.
> 
> I'll leave you to the reading now!

Karkat and Dave went to different schools, if they wanted to meet right after the end of the lessions they'd probably choose GreenJade's park, which was pretty much at the same distance from both boys locations.

It just so happens that the boys wanted to meet and they chose the main gate as the place and fourty minutes after school ended as the time.

Karkat was leaning on the gate, he was wearing a black My Chemical Romance shirt, grey jeans and his usual decaying sneakers.  
The Cancer had his messager bag on one shoulder, a plastic bag in one hand and his phone in the other when the Sagittarius finally arrived.

Dave had black vans, black ripped jeans, a red plaid shirt tied to his waist and a white shirt under his leather jacket.  
He had an Eastpak bag hanging from one shoulder and huge fucking headphones on.

 

\- Incredible, so you actually decided to show up? This is quite amazing, who but Dave fucking Strider would plan to meet someone, decide the time and the place themself and then motherfucking show up fucking late?  
I should have just fucking left instead of wasting my time for a bulge kisser like yourself.  
\- Ok, I don't see your lips move anymore so I'm taking it you are finished, I'll take my headphones off.  
\- I hate you so much and on so many levels it's actually quite impressive.  
Here's your shirt, by the way.

 

Saying so Karkat handed the other the plastic bag, and started walking, his destination: the first bench he would be able to find.

 

\- Aww you're giving it back? Come on, Vantas, it could've been a great excuse to meet again.  
Such a shame that you don't ever think ahead.

\- Don't we already see each other too often at drama?  
\- You hurt my feelings! 

 

Dave exclaimed, bringing his hand to his chest, but Karkat couldn't care less and kept talking.  
The two had reached a bench, Karkat sat and took out his script, already looking for some scene Dave was in while the above mentioned actor stayed on his feet, behind his mate.

 

\- Besides, my friends already gave me enough shit for simply having it.  
\- They gave you shit? How'd they think you got that shirt? And, more importantly, what gave them the idea? Karkat, have you been telling your friends about how hot I am?

Dave put his arms around Karkat's shoulders and lay his head on top of Karkat's.

 

\- Why won't you love me?  
\- What?

Karkat rolled his eyes despite his obvious giggle.

\- Ana tried to kiss Steve but he pushes her away, thus she asks: "Why won't you love me". What is Steve's response?  
\- Oh that ok. Dude you gotta warn me before starting, I was not in the right mindset. 

 

Dave stepped over the back of the bench sitting on it, he now had his ass just below Karkat's eyes and a knee close enough to his arm to annoy him.

 

\- Line?  
\- I will fucking push you and you'll fall on your back, you fucking asshole.  
\- I don't remember that being in the script... Karkat, will you please be serious about this?

 

And so time went by, Dave wasn't doing too bad, some times he'd change a few words, but only forgot one line out of about four.  
Alright, let's be honest, that was terrible and Karkat was getting pissed. Had Dave put zero effort into this?  
When the albino got a line wrong Karkat would give him three shots to get it right before telling him what it was and re starting a scene.

They'd been repeating one scene for twentyfive minutes because Dave couldn't remember to repeat one single line.  
Normally, during reharsal they'd just skip and keep going, but why do that if the words were supposed to be said?  
Karkat would be damned, but first he'd make sure that the asshole memorized that simple passage.

They finally got it. In the end.

They were so happy they had to stop repeating to celebrate: they shook hands and wiped away imaginary tears or made some weird speech in which they thanked Obama for this success.

Then they picked their converstion back up: every now and then they would stop reharsing to chat a little and then, without any warning, Karkat would say a line and they were back to acting, untill they were up for conversation again.

 

\- Hey, wanna come at mine?  
\- What?!  
\- Sun's really hot and I can't really stand it, what's with having like zero melanin or whatever.  
\- Oh... yeah alright...  
\- Come on Karkat, it's not like if you come at mine you'll inevitably end up in my bed, I just need to get under the shadow.  
\- Alright. Fine. Lead the way. 

And so Karkat was now sitting on Dave's couch and the other had his legs on his lap.

Dave had taken off his jaket and the plaid shirt, leaving him with only the white T-shirt.

Here's the thing: being Dave's skin as white as his shirt, Karkat always had a mini heart attack when he looked up from the script because it looked like his crush was shirtless.

Tho Karkat did not have a crush on Dave, he just found him to be a bit good looking and just slightly interesting since he liked acting.  
That's it, but since it's too long to put in a normal sentence we are goimg to use the word "crush" but obviously, the above is what Karkat means when using that word.

They were yet again reharsing, they were trying to do all of Dave's scenes in order and it wasn't going all that bad.  
They were half way through when a guy walked into the room.

Said guy halted as soon as he saw the actors on the couch, he looked at Karkat, at Dave and then back at Karkat.

 

\- You must be Karkat. I'm Dirk. 

 

He went for a handshake, it took Karkat a moment to register what was going on.  
It was like Dave but with colours on:  
The boy in front of him had a kinda dark skin and blond hair, his eyes were probably brown, but with the light hitting them in that moment they looked orange.  
He was wearing a black tank top and loose blue jeans and one thing was clear: the Striders went to the gym.

After Karkat shook his hand the boy speaked again:

\- I was gonna get myself some orange juice, want anything?  
\- AJ. Do you even have to ask at this point?  
\- I was talking to him, asshole.  
\- I wis wilking ti him 

He snorted and looked back at Karkat.

\- just some water. 

Dirk brought the beverages and left as quick as he had arrived and Karkat found Dave's red eyes fixed on him.

\- What?  
\- You were pretty much stripping him with your eyes. Dude. What, wanna reharse the kissing scene with him? I'll warn you, he's an awful actor, but I bet that won't matter.  
\- Oh my God, Dave are you fucking jealous?  
\- I abviously am! I had to fucking flirt and tease for months to get you to actually look at me and be interested, you can't just fucking sweet-eye my bro as soon as you see him!

Karkat had literally no idea what to do.  
He had fucked up.  
Allarm sirens rang in his head as he looked for something to say.  
Oh God, what if he lost his flirt buddy because his brother was hot?

\- Calm down, you shameful cluster clod, you know I only have eyes for you... tho he looks an awful lot like you so I guess it could pass 

 

At this he recived a kick on his thigh.  
Karkat got back to the script but in the back of his head he still saw Dirk and couldn't quite understand why he didn't feel the same as he did for Dave.

His was just physical attraction, so why didn't it apply to Dirk also? The two looked incredibly alike.

They skipped the kiss in the kissing scene and were soon done.  
Dave walked Karkat to the door and they said their goodbyes, but get this:

Karkat kissed Dave on the cheek, then said "See you, Dave" and walked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so for this fanfic I headcanon Dirk as having the skin tone of the girl that pops up when you google
> 
> Pantone71-4C
> 
> As per usual thanks for reading and if you could leave a tiny little comment that would mean a LOT to me and hey
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thanks for reading! How was it?  
> I hope you enjoyed, please tell me if there are typos or characters seem off.... they probably will... welp.
> 
> If you would be so kind as to leave a tiny little omment it would mean a LOT to me and hey,  
> thanks


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